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Everything is always the worst.

Resignation Letter

11/05/2013

Quitting your job at a large company (as I’m doing) requires a formal resignation letter so your intent to leave is on record.

But there are no rules about including a list of things that you may have lost while you were there (whether it’s true or not). It seems like they should send your stuff back if they find it, right?

ResignationLetter

New Disney Princesses

11/02/2013

princesses

Disney likes to plan far in advance when it comes to their princess franchise. In their more recent history they’ve made deliberate attempts to diversify their princesses. This is most obvious with Merida from Brave (Scottish) and Tiana from The Princess and the Frog (African-American).

Below is a list that The Garbage Party has obtained of upcoming princesses with their cultural background or characteristic.

Isabella (Italian)

Berangaria (French-Canadian)

Gert (Icelandish)

Sweet Potato (American-South)

Dungaree (Wild West)

Barb (Nevada)

Spazzy (suffering from ADHD)

Logos (Graphic Designer)

Chlamydia III (Ancient Egyptian Prostitute)

Lil Tuk-Tuk (Inuit)

Jo (Lesbian)

10 Signs You Are Fully Awake (by Zen Master Zhimen Guangzuo)

10/23/2013

10-signs-youre-fully-awake

  1. You’re standing up and looking around at stuff.
  2. No one is mad at you or chasing you. (Well, people are mad at you, but they’re just being really passive-aggressive about it.)
  3. Situations aren’t all vague and hazy.
  4. Your house is just your house. It isn’t “like, also your grade school.”
  5. Time is moving at a reasonable pace.
  6. You’re not sleeping or even really thinking about sleeping.
  7. You’re getting a coffee and bagel with an old college friend and nothing weird is going on.
  8. You’re at school or work fully clothed just taking notes or working or whatever.
  9. People aren’t turning into other people all the time.
  10. The monotony and boredom of life is almost tangible.

Face Segregation

10/17/2013

While I normally avoid serious posts, especially ones that discuss our country’s questionable past, this information seemed too important to ignore.

To put it bluntly, up until 1948 people without faces were segregated, forced to sit in the back rows and overall, treated like second-class citizens. The image below shows an example from 1936 of how people were forced to sit based on their lack of faces.

Sad stuff.

face_segregation

What Would Jesus Do, Specifically?

09/15/2013

It’s not that I don’t want to answer the question ‘What Would Jesus Do?’ —it’s just that the question is too broad. Plus, he died a long time ago.

What would he do…when? with who? under what circumstances? A Jesus-type-guy could find himself in a pretty endless number of situations. Here are some realistic scenarios with his possible reactions.

WWJD

Printable/High resolution version

Glass Bottom Boat

09/01/2013

ocean_floor

Welcome to Glass-bottom Boat Rides! 

Well look at that! You can really see the ocean below!

Granddad used to claim he was almost a deep sea diver before he met grandma.

This boat has a ceiling. The ceiling is made of glass.

The boat has walls which are also made of glass.

We’re in a glass boat-cube.

It’s made of lots of smaller panels. Every edge and corner reflect the sunshine.

It’s too heavy to float, so the glass box sinks.

The seams are sealed tight. No water is getting in here.

Let’s all sink to the bottom!

Look at that school of fish!

THUD.

We’ve hit the bottom of the ocean in our glass bottom boat.

Ocean dirt below. Dark blue everywhere else.

No snacks down here.

Someone has already peed in the corner.

Our tour began almost an hour ago. Three days ago. I can’t remember anymore.

Nothing left to do but scream and die.

The fish aren’t mad. They’ve got something to talk about.

QUIZ: Pro Wrestling Faction, Nightclub or Megachurch?

08/21/2013

QUIZ_WF_NC_MC

Do you know the difference between a group of grapplers, a nightclub and a giant place of worship? You do? What about based on the name only?

Below are 10 names of ONLY a Wrestling Faction, Nightclub OR Megachurch (at the time of posting this).

Please don’t just dive into this quiz like a crazy person. It may be the hardest thing you do all week. Take it slow. If you survive, please share some of your new knowledge with a loved one.

To see the answer, click, drag and highlight the area next to the name.
  1. BROOD   Wrestling Faction (WWF 1998 – 1999)
  2. PERIMETER   Church (Duluth, GA)
  3. THE FLOCK  Wrestling Faction (WCW 1997)
  4. EVE   Nightclub (Las Vegas, NV)
  5. SUNRISE   Church (multiple locations, U.S.)
  6. SWEET & SOUR   Wrestling Faction (ROH 2007 – 2009)
  7. NATION   Nightclub (Washington, D. C.)
  8. THE COLLECTIVE   Nightclub (New York City, NY)
  9. NEXUS   Wrestling Faction (WWE  2010 – 2011)
  10. NEW BIRTH   Church (multiple locations, U.S.)
BONUS INFORMATION!
The following names are shared by MULTIPLE wrestling factions, nightclubs OR churches:
Evolution (Wrestling Faction/Nightclub)
Corporation (Wrestling Faction/Nightclub)
New Church (Wrestling Faction/Church)
Revolution (Wrestling Faction/Nightclub/Church)
Silo (Nightclub/Church)
Garage (Nightclub/Church)
Motion (Nightclub/Church)
Element (Nightclub/Church)

XXXOOO (48 Hour Film Project 2013 – St. Louis)

06/23/2013

After sharing a sex tape online, a couple discovers that what people really want to see isn’t what they expected.

*************

Entry into 48 Hour Film Project 2013 – St. Louis
Audience Award Winner!
Submitted as mShorts

Co-Written/Co-Lead/Edited by The Garbage Party
Photography/Direction/Music by JR33D
Script/Direction by Tad Trier

*************

The genre we chose was Romance.

The required elements this year were:

  • A Character named Paul or Paula Sweeney who is a substitute teacher
  • An umbrella
  •  The line “I don’t recommend it.”

Wrestling Movie Month

03/01/2013

I designed this a couple years ago, but since it’s March it seems appropriate…

Every month at work someone would volunteer to supply the theme and the movies to be played (without audio) on the big hallway screens.

Sometimes it would be Westerns, sometimes Sci-Fi. I chose WRESTLING. But not ol’ fashioned wraslin’ that so many are fond of…I brought in WWE and WCW from the 80s, 90s and early 2000s because that’s when it was most awesome and fuck you it’s my month.

MarchMovies

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